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Do esquecimento

Eu me lembro bem. Foi em 2007 e até bloguei a respeito, quando eu era ainda mais bobinha do que hoje para escrever sobre música. Na verdade, acho que bobinha eu sempre vou ser quando se trata das coisas que realmente me mobilizam – coisas nas quais o Seinfeld way of life não entra, coisas que se caracterizam pelo derramamento e que não têm nenhuma pretensão de inteligência para convencer os outros da minha esperteza faceira. Mas 2007: Joshua Redman Trio em Ouro Preto. Tão bom quanto a música foi a sensação depois: de saber que a música existia, podia existir. É impressionante como a gente perde essa sensação se não vivencia a mesma experiência de prazer repetidas vezes. “A genteâ€, do que estou falando – não vou fingir que estou generalizando, este texto não é sobre gente nenhuma, é sobre eu mesmo. No caso, a minha facilidade de esquecer o que é realmente assombroso e prazeroso e vale a pena. Mais. Esquecer por que afinal você faz certas coisas. Por que estas mesmas coisas têm importância. Que nem eu tinha esquecido que aquela música existia, acostumada que estava com bateristas toscos sem dinâmica, baixistas desafinados e saxofonistas caras-de-pau. O esquecer é bom só porque quando você lembra, você até bambeia com o peso da revelação. (De novo a mania da despersonalização – “você†o cacete, “euâ€, caralho). De fato cheguei na pousadinha de Ouro Preto perturbada aquela noite. Esta música existe, é possível e eu soube de tudo isso em algum dia longínquo, mas sabe-se lá por quais processos defensivos esqueci tudo e me acostumei com um mundo sem dinâmica, afinação e personalidade. É como os mendigos que ou a gente finge que não vê ou não vive (finge que os mendigos não vivem, finge não vê-los para que a gente viva). Depois de um tempo eu sinceramente começo a achar normal, os mendigos e músicos precários. Principalmente os bateristas. E aí, bem, quando você encontra um baterista não-precário. E você aproveita o que dá e o que não dá (ok, desisto, não consigo: escrever essas coisas em primeira pessoa, convenhamos, aí já é demais). Você realmente é relembrado de tudo o que mais importa. Você lembra que o motivo mesmo pelo qual ouve música são os Paul Motians, Jack DeJohnettes e Brian Blades da vida. Você se lembra não só de tudo o que lhe é mais caro como também de tudo que você ainda quer e tem para viver e aproveitar e gozar.

Mas a gig dura uma hora, duas no máximo. E aí você se promete que não vai esquecer mais. Que agora você sabe o que é importante e não vai se contentar com pouco. Que com uma música desse nível você se torna uma ouvinte muito melhor do que você lembrava que era capaz de ser. E a gig finalmente acaba. E eu esqueço.

Eu queria muito não esquecer, desta vez. Mas não sou patsa a ponto de não saber por que o esquecimento se mantém: basicamente, porque não sou idiota. Porque é muito mais fácil uma vida em que o baterista da Orquestra do Zezinho é o seu modelo de musicalidade.

Mas eu acho que eu precisava. Ser mais idiota e não me contentar mais com o baterista Zezinho. E não é nem porque a vida é muito curta. É porque a vida pode ser muito muito boa. É só lembrar.

97 Comentários on “Do esquecimento”

  1. #1 Ricardo Cabral
    on Jun 13th, 2009 at 5:12 pm

    Camila, faz um bem danado ler o que você pensa, ler o que você fala, ler a entonação da sua voz, as pausas, os sorrisos e o cenho hora ou outra franzido, e ainda saber que isso, que você faz “com o teclado nas cosas”, não é pra qualquer um. E o bem é ainda maior para todos os esquecidos como eu, porque dá sempre para esperar um resgate no seu próximo post.

    Bjs

  2. #2 Mariano
    on Jun 14th, 2009 at 5:08 pm

    Coitado do Zezinho, Camila!
    Pior era ouvir aqueles bateristas americanos que começaram a gravar os primeiros discos de bossa nova. Nada agrediu mais os meus ouvidos.
    Abço.

  3. #3 Daniel
    on Jun 15th, 2009 at 9:33 am

    PS sem S: o que é “asfrando”? (no subtítulo do blog)…

  4. #4 lucas
    on Jun 15th, 2009 at 3:39 pm

    “In an interview with the German magazine Der Spiegel in 1992, Mr. Jarrett complained that the album [Köln Concert] had become nothing more than a soundtrack. ‘We also have to learn to forget music,’ he added. ‘Otherwise we become addicted to the past.’”

  5. #5 Olivio
    on Jun 16th, 2009 at 4:26 am

    Pois é, mas é melhor abandonar o passado ouvindo Mr. Jarret do que ouvir a música-bunda balouçante do “É o tcham!”…

  6. #6 camilalpav
    on Jun 17th, 2009 at 11:40 am

    ;)
    Tê-lo conhecido pessoalmente foi um dos pontos altos da minha estadia (estada? nunca sei) no Rio, pode crer. Beijo!

  7. #7 camilalpav
    on Jun 17th, 2009 at 11:44 am

    Ai – assino em baixo, dos lados, onde você quiser. Nada mais clichê em bossa nova do que o batera gringo abrindo pros pratos no B.

    Deixa eu te perguntar: você ouviu o disco de bossa nova for export da Luciana Souza? O que achou do baterista? Não vou dizer nada pra não influenciar sua resposta. :)

  8. #8 camilalpav
    on Jun 17th, 2009 at 11:49 am

    hahaha
    Acredita que você é o primeiro a perguntar, meu editor?
    Asfrar é tocar um instrumento qualquer sem a menor segurança e competência, esbarrando em toda e qualquer nota que apareça pelo caminho sem nenhum desejo ou intencionalidade. O músico que asfra é como um cego de posse de uma arma em meio a um tiroteio. Frequentemente o resultado desta prática é sofrível, mas vez ou outra, devido à lei do acaso, acaba saindo um som que presta. ;)

  9. #9 camilalpav
    on Jun 17th, 2009 at 11:55 am

    Linda a citação, lucas, obrigada mesmo. Não que eu concorde que o concerto de Köln (já) tenha virado trilha sonora, mas acho que entendo perfeitamente o que ele quer dizer. Se a gente não cuidar, as coisas mais sublimes viram musiquinha do caminhão de gás. Daí a necessidade de esquecer, para que se viva no presente e perceba-se que a música que está acontecendo agora é única e irrepetível. Valeu mesmo pelo contraponto essencial ao post. E obrigada pelo seu e-mail também, que vou responder com calma mais tarde. Um beijo.

  10. #10 camilalpav
    on Jun 17th, 2009 at 12:00 pm

    Mas se for por aí, É o tchan já é passado também. E, aliás, é considerada música brasileira “tradicional” e “de raiz”, super cult, por muitos acadêmicos estadunidenses…

  11. #11 Mariano
    on Jun 17th, 2009 at 5:31 pm

    Infelizmente não ouvi este disco.

  12. #12 Mariano
    on Jun 17th, 2009 at 6:46 pm

    Camila,
    Se for o disco que achei agora, meu Deus!
    Deixaram o cara fora do estúdio com uma chuvinha fina em cima da batera dele… e com uma goteirinha renitente pingando em baixo. Que burocrata!

  13. #13 Augusto Maurer
    on Jun 22nd, 2009 at 3:54 pm

    Camila,

    cheguei aqui por acaso, provavelmente como a maioria, percorrendo as últimas do OPS!, minha revista preferida. Perfil interessante: pianista, psicanalista, acadêmica e dona de casa, nesta cronologia. Desci uns posts e… voilá ! Belo ensaio de jazz e apreciação musical, especialmente no tocante

    à relação entre o esquecimendo do sublime e a tolerância à mediocridade, bem como

    aos dons e carências de certos bateristas, cujos feitos (e defeitos) passam geralmente ao largo de ouvidos menos atentos. Viste outra interessante polêmica sobre bateristas em http://ipsislitteris.opsblog.org/2009/05/27/santissima-trindade-do-jazz/ ?

    Devo citar teu post e o do Grijó ao falar de Elvin Jones. Até lá, visitarei teu blog outras vezes.

    Augusto Maurer

  14. #14 camilalpav
    on Jun 25th, 2009 at 11:26 am

    Augusto, minha santíssima trindade particular da bateria do jazz é formada por Elvin (claro), Roy Haynes e Tony Williams. Max Roach é o máximo também, adoro os discos com Thelonious – e Art Blakey, bem, confesso que os Jazz Messengers nunca me pegaram de jeito. Talvez um dia pegue, até porque essa banda é importantíssima para o Brian Blade, então não vou desistir dela assim tão fácil. Grande abraço!

  15. #15 DJ Mestre Marçal
    on Jun 26th, 2009 at 5:04 am

    E eu posso saber onde a senhora coloca o Buddy Rich?

  16. #16 camilalpav
    on Jun 26th, 2009 at 1:34 pm

    Vou cair muito no seu conceito se eu disser que nem coloco?

  17. #17 Augusto Maurer
    on Jun 27th, 2009 at 11:55 pm

    Obrigado, Camila, sugeri que visses a tal trindade dos tambores por que também não acho que Blakey ou Roach cheguem sequer aos pés de Jones, o qual tem, para o jazz, uma estatura como a de gigantes inovadores como Thelonius ou Miles.

    Dos Jazz Messengers, que cheguei a escutar ao vivo, gosto mais de algumas coisas que lhe são colaterais, como o fugaz Clifford Brown. Blakey era, na verdade, um ótimo head hunter.

    Citei Do Esquecimento em http://opensadorselvagem.org/arte-e-entretenimento/critica/michael-jackson-esta-morto-e-dai.

    Grande abraço,

    Augusto
    http://www.antaresmusica.com.br

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    Não há a menor possibilidade de a senhora cair no meu conceito por questões de gosto. Posto isso, já somamos dois assunto a evitar: o batuqueiro e o Pat…

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