Às vezes sou obrigada a concluir que só eu passei por certas experiências na vida. Não dá para pensar outra coisa quando ouço o ditado “sexo é que nem pizza – quando é ruim, é ótimo!”. Será que só eu já comi pizza da Domino’s, meu Deus? Só eu sei o que é uma pizza borrachenta cujo óleo deve ser escorrido antes que ela possa ser degustada? Só eu já provei uma linguiça calabresa que mais estava para salsicha sobre uma massa que ninguém diria que foi ao forno? Só eu já cravei os dentes numa pasta de catupiry gelada, em atuns sem cor nem sal, em rúculas de anteontem? Ou as pessoas sinceramente comem tudo isso achando ótimo?
Um dos meus namoros terminou precisamente por causa disso: pizza ruim. Quer dizer, né. A pizza condensou tudo o que havia de errado no relacionamento. Porque amar, eu amo esse meu ex-namorado até hoje. Mas ele é vegan (minha analista na época custou a entender o que era isso – ela entendia viga, e provavelmente achava que ele fazia parte de alguma seita, no que não estava de todo enganada), e o dia em que me vi diante de um pedaço de pizza de VEGARELLA – uma gosma branca de tofu para substituir vocês-sabem-o-quê -, não aguentei. Fugi para o banheiro, esse refúgio das mulheres infelizes, e chorando me dei conta de que o namoro acabara ali. Porque até a sexo ruim um namoro sobrevive – mas nada, nada resiste a tofus fumegantes recobrindo uma massa integral.
Com sexo ruim é a mesma coisa. Vez ou outra ouço mulheres dizendo que o sexo foi ruim, mas pelo menos rolô, né? E eu fico matutando, mas qual é exatamente a vantagem de ter rolado se foi ruim? As pessoas não têm coisa mais interessante pra fazer do que sexo de baixa qualidade? Ou será que só eu já fiz sexo ruim de verdade na vida? Será que só eu já peguei um homem broxa, ninguém mais? Só eu sei o que é ejaculação precoce? Só eu já dei azar de ficar com homem que tem nojinho? Ninguém além de mim já se cansou com o infernal sexo atlético, em que o moço quer mostrar todo o seu domínio das posições sexuais em cinco minutos e a duzentos por hora? Ou as mulheres passam por tudo isso, e ainda assim acham bom?
A sabedoria popular que me perdoe, mas pizza, comigo, tem que ser da Speranza. E sexo, sem citar nomes, tem que ser maravilhoso. A pizza virá amanhã; o sexo, vai depender do processo seletivo.
on Jul 16th, 2009 at 6:23 am
“Por que o rei tá andando nu?”, perguntou Camila aos 3 anos de idade…
:-D
on Jul 16th, 2009 at 12:34 pm
“Ou as pessoas sinceramente comem tudo isso achando ótimo?”. Sim, é isso. É o bom de ser desencanado.
E pizza fria é o que há!
on Jul 16th, 2009 at 12:48 pm
Oi, posso te levar pra comer uma boa pizza um dia? Se vc não gostar, o problema não é vc, sou eu (rs)
on Jul 16th, 2009 at 12:49 pm
Não acho que vale a pena engordar com pizza ruim e homem que manda mal é só uma vez e pronto.
on Jul 16th, 2009 at 12:58 pm
Aí eu concordo com a lela. Não precisa repetir a dose também, que é besteira.
on Jul 16th, 2009 at 1:28 pm
creio que não só sexo em si, mas a sexualidade toda (que envolve toques, até palavras) é “sentir” e perceber-se “sentida” também. sentir o outro; ou, que seja, a pizza. se isso acontece e é mútuo, não importa que o sabor seja ruim vez ou outra. veio-me à mente uma citação que vi num blog há algum tempo: “Para Martin, o corpo de Solly era como uma cidadezinha que, com o tempo, havia se espalhado e crescido até se transformar em um centro agitado, atravessado por novas ruas e empreendimentos imobiliários modernos, alguns deles bem feios. Havia mudado, mas era onde ele morava.” (Rachel Cusk)
abraços.
on Jul 16th, 2009 at 1:33 pm
Ser vegetariano pra q? Me rebaixar na cadeia alimentar? =)
on Jul 16th, 2009 at 2:01 pm
Olá,
Só passei pra dizer que existe pizza vegan boa sim, e fica no lugar que você adora: a pizzaria Speranza no Bexiga.
Eu sou vegan e só como pizza lá, porque é a melhor da cidade.
Bjos,
George.
on Jul 16th, 2009 at 2:46 pm
Ai vai, todo mundo sabe que esses putos abduzidos de redes de yÔOOga são a coisa mais insossa do mundo. Só dá certo a reprodução entre eles. Povinho narcizista que não faz sexo, faz exibição de nú corporal. O que vier junto é lucro. E comida vegan é uma nojera só. Os dois juntos? Vai pra uma comunidade hippie por favor.
on Jul 16th, 2009 at 4:32 pm
Pizza pra mim só de muzzarela ou marguerita ( variações do mesmo tema) e sexo …… vc tem que provar pra saber.
on Jul 16th, 2009 at 5:17 pm
Anti-vegans,
fico imaginando o que dirias sobre gays, lésbicas, negros, assembleianos, católicos, nerds, gaúchos, nordestinos, comedores compulsivos, anoréticos, crudívoros, vegetarianos (que diferem dos vegans)…
;)
George e Camila, conhecem pizza de escarola com champignon? (um luxo. :)
on Jul 16th, 2009 at 7:33 pm
Oi Mirianne,
Conheço sim. É um tipo de pizza fácil de você pedir em qualquer pizzaria comum por aí. Outra dica é o restaurante Vegethus, na Haddock Lobo, eles servem pizzas lá nos finais de semana. O lugar é ótimo e a comida é de altíssima qualidade.
on Jul 17th, 2009 at 4:11 am
Em comunidades hippie (Meu Deus, isso ainda existe?!) a pizza preferida é de maconha, e normalmente vem enrolada e acesa! Quanto a sexo, imagine o príncipe Charles e/ou a Madame Parker-Bowles no rala e rola (apud Faustão): dá pra achar que precisa provar pra saber se é bom ou ruim?!…
on Jul 17th, 2009 at 6:43 am
este príncipe parece que começou provando pelo Tampax…
on Jul 17th, 2009 at 7:33 am
hahaah. rachando de rir com o primeiro comentário do(a) ândi.
olha, eu já namorei 2 brochas e até um ejaculador precoce, e achava ótimo. não ótimo porque até ruim é bom, mas ótimo-*ótimo* mesmo. me divertia demais com eles. o fato é que adoooooro um tofu. aqui deu água na boca sua descrição da vegarella. e aliás, adoro a dominos também – eles tinham uma pitsa de vegetais que era a coisa mais gostosa. aquela massa de pão na pitsa, amo. pena que a que tinha aqui perto fechou, faz mil anos que eu não como mais lá. enfim, boas lembraças… tem quem adore, e pra esses é bom bagarai.
on Jul 17th, 2009 at 8:02 am
Sorte daqueles para os quais todo mundo anda nu o tempo todo! :-D
on Jul 17th, 2009 at 8:06 am
Jamais duvidei de que quem acha tudo lindo é muito mais feliz, relaxado, animado, produtivo e bem-sucedido na vida…
on Jul 17th, 2009 at 8:09 am
Não parece, mas eu sou facinha. Se a pizza for boa mesmo, e se você estiver pagando, estaremos aceitando! :-D
on Jul 17th, 2009 at 8:10 am
Amém = obviedade rules!
on Jul 17th, 2009 at 8:14 am
Tá, mas pera. Ninguém tá dizendo que tudo precisa ser lindo sempre para valer a pena. Quem gosta de sexo, e gosta de pizza, (presumivelmente) vai ter várias experiências com sexo e pizza, e nem todas vão ser incríveis (ou, para alguns felizardos, vai). E isso de forma alguma configura um desestímulo a seguir experimentando.
on Jul 17th, 2009 at 8:17 am
Pra mim também é a melhor pizza da cidade – estive lá ontem e mais uma vez confirmei isso. E claro que existe pizza vegan maravilhosa, assim como existe pizza vegan horrorosa… Essa que eu citei meu namorado na época também odiou. Nem todo vegan (ou viga) acha todo tofu delicioso…
on Jul 17th, 2009 at 8:18 am
Epa, esse não conheço não – valeu! Vou indicar para o ex-namorado.
on Jul 17th, 2009 at 8:21 am
“fico imaginando o que dirias sobre gays, lésbicas, negros, assembleianos, católicos, nerds, gaúchos, nordestinos, comedores compulsivos, anoréticos, crudívoros, vegetarianos (que diferem dos vegans)…”
Né?? Cruzes.
Eu gosto sim de pizza de escarola com chapingnon, mas nada supera pizza de berinjela…
on Jul 17th, 2009 at 8:23 am
Vide minha resposta ao comentário dele! :-D
on Jul 17th, 2009 at 9:16 am
Ui!, meu padim Ciçu, Nosso Senhor nos livre dessa gente cruel!
on Jul 18th, 2009 at 3:25 pm
Que delícia de post! ;-)
on Jul 20th, 2009 at 12:14 pm
Ah, eu também não acho bom não – acho ruim mesmo. Estou falando de sexo e de pizza: http://duasfridas.blogger.com.br/2008_02_01_archive.html#40132963
Beijos!
on Jul 22nd, 2009 at 4:08 pm
Pizza pode ser ruim, mas sexo pode ser horrível. Será que só eu sei o que é um tipinho parecendo um cachorro de língua pra fora e ofegante a 500 por hora em cima de mim? E ainda perguntando “Foi bom pra ti” no final??
on Jul 29th, 2009 at 7:08 am
Hahaha, esse “foi bom pra ti” entregou as tuas origens, guria! :-D
on Jul 29th, 2009 at 7:10 am
Que delícia é o seu blog! Não conhecia, vou já indicar para os gatófilos de plantão!
on Jul 29th, 2009 at 7:16 am
o/ Adorei!
on Jul 30th, 2009 at 2:30 pm
[...] e que escreve legal e divertido até dizer chega, acha essas expressões a minha cara. Para ela e para voces, deixo esse presentinho aqui no link. Um beijo, [...]
on Aug 10th, 2009 at 5:46 am
[...] em cinco minutos e a duzentos por hora? Ou as mulheres passam por tudo isso, e ainda assim acham bom?“ [...]
on Aug 10th, 2009 at 9:02 am
Descobri teu blog pelo Hermê, e adorei! ReBloguei http://ow.ly/jyOg
on Aug 10th, 2009 at 9:34 am
Rapaz, você não imagina a alegria de acordar com um pingback do Hermê e, dez minutos depois, descobrir o seu blog. Só o post do Brizola já teria sido suficiente para você entrar para o meu rolinho – e, como se não bastasse, você ainda me faz elogio? Aí é que eu não resisti mesmo! :-D Um abraço!
on Aug 10th, 2009 at 5:43 pm
Putz, lendo o seu blog rolou o maior “nunca te vi, sempre te amei”. Também, inteligência, sendo de humor, Edward Hopper, amante de pizza e de Lost (e de um bom sexo), não poderia ser diferente. Se for corintiana, fão de Dostoievski e de Battlestar Galactica, é a mulher da minha vida e eu caso agora mesmo!
Parabéns pelo blog e um beijo.
on Aug 11th, 2009 at 7:43 pm
Caro Agente 86, vamos lá:
1) Futebol: sou simpatizante do Santos, e só. Gostei muito de futebol dos 12 aos 16 anos, depois passou. E passou passado mesmo, definitivamente, depois do episódio “meiões do RC”. Depois daquilo, nunca mais me recuperei…
2) Dostô: como não! Meu escritor preferido, de longe. O Idiota é o livro da minha vida, Aglaia = eu, etc. etc.
3) Battlestar Galactica: vixe, nada. As séries de cabeceira do blog são mesmo Seinfeld, LOST e The Wire, pelo menos por enquanto.
One out of three tá bom? Antes de casar, talvez a gente possa começar noivando pra ver qualé! :-D
on Sep 2nd, 2009 at 7:19 pm
[...] do dia, eu com uma cólica do caralho e o coroa demorando pra gozar me veio com aquela de “fudê é que nem pizza, quando é ruim é ótimo” e dai que eu num guentei, cara, peguei as duas lá na mesinha e foi [...]
on Dec 31st, 2009 at 9:23 am
Os BROXAS que me perdôem, mas uma BOA FODA é fundamental!!!!
on Apr 18th, 2010 at 3:01 pm
Concordo com a Beatrix. Uma boa foda é fundamental.
E acho que a impressão que uma pizza nos causa depende da fome ou apetite que estamos na hora. Se ficamos o dia trabalhando que nem condenados e chegamos a noite sem pique pra pilotar o fogãozinho, chega o moço da pizza na porta e aquilo parece o paraíso – aquilo, qualquer coisa de massa com um molho e uns “trens” em cima, acho que vai, amém. Mas se a gente vai num bom restaurante com apetite para o vinho e a sobremesa junto, mesmo que seja uma maravilha, nosso paladar apurado ainda vai exigir mais.
Acho que com os homens é a mesma coisa – se queremos apenas a funilaria e pintura, troca de óleo e calibrar os pneus, qualquer posto ou oficina serve. Mas se queremos um bom automóvel pra uma bela estrada com paisagens e destino à espera, tem que ser o top de linha.
Por que será que é tão fácil associar comida e sexo?
bejones
alinflamenca
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Zune and iPod: Most people compare the Zune to the Touch, but after seeing how slim and surprisingly small and light it is, I consider it to be a rather unique hybrid that combines qualities of both the Touch and the Nano. It’s very colorful and lovely OLED screen is slightly smaller than the touch screen, but the player itself feels quite a bit smaller and lighter. It weighs about 2/3 as much, and is noticeably smaller in width and height, while being just a hair thicker.
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Zune and iPod: Most people compare the Zune to the Touch, but after seeing how slim and surprisingly small and light it is, I consider it to be a rather unique hybrid that combines qualities of both the Touch and the Nano. It’s very colorful and lovely OLED screen is slightly smaller than the touch screen, but the player itself feels quite a bit smaller and lighter. It weighs about 2/3 as much, and is noticeably smaller in width and height, while being just a hair thicker.
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Hands down, Apple’s app store wins by a mile. It’s a huge selection of all sorts of apps vs a rather sad selection of a handful for Zune. Microsoft has plans, especially in the realm of games, but I’m not sure I’d want to bet on the future if this aspect is important to you. The iPod is a much better choice in that case.
on Nov 25th, 2011 at 6:20 pm
Apple now has Rhapsody as an app, which is a great start, but it is currently hampered by the inability to store locally on your iPod, and has a dismal 64kbps bit rate. If this changes, then it will somewhat negate this advantage for the Zune, but the 10 songs per month will still be a big plus in Zune Pass’ favor.
on Nov 25th, 2011 at 6:21 pm
Apple now has Rhapsody as an app, which is a great start, but it is currently hampered by the inability to store locally on your iPod, and has a dismal 64kbps bit rate. If this changes, then it will somewhat negate this advantage for the Zune, but the 10 songs per month will still be a big plus in Zune Pass’ favor.
on Nov 25th, 2011 at 6:23 pm
Between me and my husband we’ve owned more MP3 players over the years than I can count, including Sansas, iRivers, iPods (classic & touch), the Ibiza Rhapsody, etc. But, the last few years I’ve settled down to one line of players. Why? Because I was happy to discover how well-designed and fun to use the underappreciated (and widely mocked) Zunes are.
on Nov 25th, 2011 at 6:24 pm
The new Zune browser is surprisingly good, but not as good as the iPod’s. It works well, but isn’t as fast as Safari, and has a clunkier interface. If you occasionally plan on using the web browser that’s not an issue, but if you’re planning to browse the web alot from your PMP then the iPod’s larger screen and better browser may be important.
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on Nov 26th, 2011 at 10:53 am
Apple now has Rhapsody as an app, which is a great start, but it is currently hampered by the inability to store locally on your iPod, and has a dismal 64kbps bit rate. If this changes, then it will somewhat negate this advantage for the Zune, but the 10 songs per month will still be a big plus in Zune Pass’ favor.
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